Why try?  We all ask ourselves that question at some point during the day, the month, the life, don’t we? 

 

Last night, I worked a new room for me called Shane on Main Street in Santa Monica.  I thought I had been booked.  I was booked, but it was one of those rooms where they keep putting people on in front of you and pushing you further back and back in the line-up.  Patrick, the guy running the room kept walking by me, holding up two fingers and saying, “two more, then you.”  This feels something like sitting in an airport waiting to board a flight that’s delayed.  The time on the screen is giving you a glimmer of hope that it’s only a half hour wait, but then it’s another half hour and another and another and now you’re weary and angry and it’s time to re-shave your armpits.

 

That’s what happened last night.  I got there at 8:00.  I went up at 11:00.  I became very close to the bartender, Scotty who fixed me a take-home meal.  I brought it out to my car and discovered a parking ticket.  The meters go until 10:00 pm in the evil empire of Santa Monica.  I walked solemnly defeated back into the bar, prepared to tell Patrick that he had won.  I was giving up and going home.

 

Please know that I am not generally this easily beaten down but I had spent the day driving to Palm Springs for a funeral.  My cousin-in-law’s father, Monty Berman had passed away and although I did not know this man, I watched my cousin, Trish’s husband Lee Jay deliver an incredibly moving eulogy which ended in these words… “I am and always will be Monty Berman’s son.”  That had me sobbing. 

 

Now, driving to Palm Springs and back…?  I can’t recommend it.  First of all, it’s a long ass drive on the 10.  Second… when you get there, you’re in Palm Springs and frankly… yuck.  Driving back is another long ass drive on the 10 but the good news is that you are out of Palm Springs.

 

So, I didn’t really feel like doing stand-up last night and yes, I did almost tell Patrick that I was leaving.  But then I saw Bob Oshack at the bar and you really can’t look at that guy without smiling and, OK… he had pictures of his kids.  A 3 ½ year old daughter and a brand new baby boy.  Life does not get any cuter and so I stayed for his set and then I was next.  Naturally, by this point there were only ten people remaining in the audience and the three in the back were solidly involved in a loud conversation but I may have actually won them over because the one who told me his name was Bill laughed when I called his girlfriend Hillary.  (yeah, that’s how funny I can get)

 

Thanks for reading this far.  I feel much better.  I have to go pay a parking ticket.

I, for one, am happy that Atkins has filed for bankruptcy. A dear friend of mine, a model, committed suicide after accidentally consuming a noodle. When she learned that macaroni were also considered "carbs" (she thought spaghetti was the only pasta), she polished off a bottle of Xanax and overdosed.

It's time for people to stop succumbing to fad diets. Here's what you need to know: a healthy diet is all about balance and moderation, not guilt and despair. I try and maintain this balance.

Take yesterday, for example. For breakfast I ate scrambled egg whites with sliced tomato. For lunch I ate a spinach salad and had a glass of sparkling water with a lemon wedge. And for dinner I ate a baby. Now, it's not like the baby was wrapped in bacon or anything. It wasn't. In fact, it was grilled. And tomorrow I will spend an extra thirty minutes at the gym to work it off.

Am I going to freak out about the amount of food I ate, or about how fattening baby fat is? No. And you shouldn't either.

Weezy and The Swish podcast 10


Those wacky ladies are at it again! In this weeks show, they cover some pretty out there topics including:

-Men Overcompensate When Their Masculinity is Threatened

-DJ Beaten for Playing Too Much "Gay Music"

-Men Decode Male Voices Faster than Female Voices

All this and more on, Weezy and The Swish podcast #10!

Running late today as I play catch up from being gone for a week. The latest podcast will be posted by this evening.

Expect to see the latest show featuring myself as "out of town" some point on Mon.

I've been doing stand-up comedy since 2000.  In many ways it's a very solitary pursuit.  You're up on stage by yourself.  You are solely responsible for the success or failure with which you meet.  I love that aspect of stand-up comedy...  Forging onward… me against my own limitations.  Attaining momentary ownership of something as elusive as a stranger's laughter is a worthy challenge, isn't it?  Well, it is and it isn't because, strangely, the pursuit of laughter can turn many people hollow and mean.

Maybe that happens to people who remain as solitary offstage as you have to be on stage.  Yikes, this is starting to sound very dull and preachy when really what I'm trying to say is that during the past five years, I have gotten a huge kick out of watching my friends progress along side me.

As solitary as the act itself is, watching my friends grow and develop and emerge as performers has been a huge treat and I don't think I'd be doing this were it not for the friendships. 

Of course that sounds corny.  I don't know how else to say it.  A lot of us started at Jennifer's together.  Fini Goodman, Deb Cox, Bret Gilbert, James Painter, Nick Yousef, Bret Williams, Brian Dowell, Laura Swisher and just a bunch of people who if you watch us perform today, you'll gather no hint of how badly we sucked five years ago. 

And I think that no matter how lonely the act of standing on a naked stage, by yourself and talking can be, like anything else, finding a way to share the experience is what makes it worth doing.

I am very proud of my stand-up friends who have come so far in five years.  We're only partly there but I can feel my progress and I can feel theirs and this, just like everything else, is about the journey.  You've been a terrific crowd.  That's my time.  Thanks.

P.S. I never say that at the end of my set because I think it's hack.  But what's hack on stage can be funny in a blog… or not.  I’ll leave that up to you.

 

I took a minute to 'resize' two of the newest images uploaded to the album area. Enjoy!

Bob and Weezy

Laura, Bob and Weezy